Fashion Fumbles And Other Opinions

Published: May 08, 2013 at 3:54PM EDT

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to another clog (conversation log)!

Where two friends talk about pop culture, entertainment, fashion and whatever else strikes our fancy! My friend Vicki (Senior Director and pop culture aficionado) and I will chat (sometimes mindlessly) about pressing (not really) topics.

Hope you enjoy it!
Maria

Vicki:

Okay, spring seems to have finally sprung. Sprang? Springed? You know what that means – I hate everything I own and need new clothes. But before I torture myself – and you – with a poorly lit dressing room, let’s talk fashion crimes. I was a kid in the 80s, so the list is long and tragic. But probably some combination of neon and New Romantic ruffles and rubber jewellery. You?

Maria:

As a child I loved all things 80s… with neon, spandex and spiral perms at the top of my list. Having said that, my mother was of the opposite opinion. She thought neon was tacky, spandex was not for little girls and spiral perms looked unnatural. Since I was in the single digits, she won… and thank god for that! At the time I felt she was sabotaging my entrance in to world of cutting-edge fashion, when in fact, she was saving me the embarrassment of bad taste… that is until I started dressing myself in the 90s.

So how bad were the 90s? Picture this… a far-too-big for me Vuarnet t-shirt tucked (only in the front) of my pants… paired with Nike Air sneakers and bangs so hair-sprayed I couldn’t stand near an open flame for fear of igniting. Admit it, you did it too.

Vicki:

I’m older than you, so I most certainly did not! I was more goth / grunge / Molly Ringwald the later years. Second hand or vintage, lots of jewellery representing long-lost cultures, some plaid, lots of black. We would have mocked each other.

Maria:

We totally would have mocked one another… especially since the latter part of the 90’s and I turned in to a “prep”… you know, button-down shirts, jeans rolled at the cuff, penny loafers and deck shoes.

Please tell me you wore black lipstick? One of my all time fashion pet peeves… nobody looks good in it.

Vicki:

It’s like I don’t know you at all.

Nah – burgundy. My friend Steve says I was more like Diet Goth – a little lighter, fewer calories.

But enough about us. As you know, I’m a staunch “leggings are not pants” advocate. But right now, I just cannot get on board with ridiculous nail art on women over 25 who aren’t Katy Perry.

Maria:

Diet Goth, I like that.

I’m with you on the “leggings” philosophy… but am willing to overlook it for people under 10 years old.

These are my top 5 fashion peeves…

White socks with anything other than sneakers. Self explanatory.
Crocs. I know they’re comfy, but keep them in the garden. Having said that, I’ll forgive seniors and children this transgression.
Pants that are too long or too short. If they’re too short, don’t buy them, if they’re too long get them hemmed!
Rings on every finger. It screams “look at all the jewellery I own”… or, that you’re a pirate.
Exposed underwear. Bras and thongs should be concealed. I can turn a blind eye to a revealed strap here and there but if I can see more than that you’re probably naked in public.

And yours?

Vicki

High heels when people can’t walk in them. Yes, they make your legs look great and your ass look perky, but only if you’re not picking your way across the floor like a damn mountain goat.
Jumpsuits. I know they’re sort of back, but I hate them. Too prison inmate for me. I know we disagree on this. Maybe on Gisele Bundchen. Maybe.
White shoes. My mom was a nurse for 40 years, and she hates them because they all look like duty shoes to her. It’s genetic.
Tapered jeans. They flatter NO ONE. See also: pleated.
This one may be weird, and it’s specific to just me, but matching jewellery. I love jewellery, I own way too much jewellery, but I think going with a matching set shows a lack of imagination. Jewellery is such a form of self-expression, and who wants to lack imagination when it comes to self-expression?

Speaking of jewellery, and I know we may disagree, but you know what I do like? A bit of jewellery on men. Not like Johnny Depp styles, where he’d take 25 minutes to get his accessories off, but a leather cuff, a simple ring, a Pyrrha pendant… Okay – question our friendship.

Maria:

You must judge my clothing choices, every day.

About man jewellery, I’m not opposed… I save that disdain for man highlights. Frosted tips, whatever you want to call it, I just can’t get on board.

Surprised you didn’t mention pajamas as street clothes? I recall a rant or two ;)

Vicki:

People are going to think I’m a horrible person. I don’t judge your clothing choices every day! You only have one jacket I hate.

I feel like the pajamas thing can’t be cured, because it seems like a cry for help. Look, I have days when I don’t get out of pajama pants. But I don’t think “Screw it, time to go get groceries”. Plus, given my luck, you know I’d run into an ex-boyfriend, and I can’t be that girl.

Maria:

Hate is such a strong word. It's really not that bad. I think.

Good talk.

The Viral File

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