'I wanted to humanize her for people': Rehtaeh Parsons' father pens a tribute to his daughter

Moving Memoir: “My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons” Glen Canning’s book ‘My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons’ is a tribute to the young woman his family lost.

HALIFAX — Glen Canning's world shattered when his daughter Rehtaeh Parsons took her own life. But he's slowly put his back together while writing an honest and heart-breaking book about her life.

The alleged gang rape, cyberbullying and subsequent suicide of Rehtaeh Parsons at age 17 is one of the darkest chapters in Nova Scotia's recent history.

It made national waves and sparked widespread outrage.

After years of talking to teenage boys about issues like sexual violence and toxic masculinity, Canning has written My Daughter Rehtaeh Parsons.

It's a moving memoir and a call to action.

"I would describe Rae as very inquisitive young lady. She wanted to learn about the world around her. She was a fan of nature right from when she was a little girl. She loved nothing more than going for a walk in the woods and exploring things and seeing birds and squirrels and everything, so she always seemed to have a bit of a scientific mind," says Canning.

He say the time was right to share Rehtaeh Parsons' story in his own words.

"I wanted to leave a legacy for Rehtaeh. I wanted to humanize her for people. Not just a girl who died by suicide after a tragic assault, there's more to her than that, and I wanted to share that with people," says Canning.

But Canning also struggled with his own depression after Rehtaeh's 2013 death, which grew worse after spending years doing talks at high schools, universities and conferences across Canada.

"Every time I do I find that it doesn't get better for me. It keeps me stuck in the same one-day period eight years ago and I just couldn't seem to move on from that, so I decided to take a break," says Canning.

Canning hopes the book will spark fresh conversations about what he describes as "the distorted vision of the ideal, stoic male stereotype."

"Not a lot of men talk openly about how they feel. Like very openly about how they feel. Not enough men are talking about wounds they have suffered as children because you're brought up in an environment where men don't cry. Boys don't cry. You know, bury your feelings and hide them inside," says Canning.

If we can't be honest with ourselves as men, says Canning, it's going to cause us problems and be harmful to the women and girls around us.

"I think that's what toxic masculinity to me would be. It's a man who is unable to build healthy relationships," says Canning.

But canning says boys and men are capable of change. He's seen it happen.

Ottawa's Man-Up Movement started at the high school level after one of his visits and has spread to 30 local schools.

Boys openly discuss protecting girls from sexual violence and kids against bullying.

"Then, all of a sudden they started talking about racism, Islamaphobia, homophobia," Canning explains.

"It was kind of a whole big thing, where once they got involved in a social issue because they heard Rae's story and didn't just say, 'Wow that's tragic.’ They said, 'What can we do about it?' and they actually went out and did something about it in their school," says Canning.

Now Canning says it's time to follow that example of what it means to be a man.

"What if I could put one young man in every situation like that who is going to say, 'I'm not going to let you do this,' and I believe that's possible. I believe Rae's assault and eventual suicide was preventable. And I believe that, and whatever I can do to make that possible for someone else I'm going to do it," says Canning.